New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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