this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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