i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
