just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
