It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
