definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
