Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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