She's JV to your varsity
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
