There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize