I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I touched a dick in church today
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
