So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how can u be prego again
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
