So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Alive.
So much puke
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
