I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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