quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
