Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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