My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Randomize
