im drinking this country out of the recession.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
