This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
