I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize