Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
