Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize