Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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