Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
