laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He shit in the fireplace
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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