I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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