I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize