my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
