She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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