I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
