There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
