i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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