We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
