Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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