very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this beer tastes like vomit already
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
