i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
