You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
