I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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