If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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