the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
