Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
