And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
