Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
