so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
