We're facebook friends in real life
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
