Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
