I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
