So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
