Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
