he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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