She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
