I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
