Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
