She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
