I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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