id be glad to
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
