You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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