She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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