Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
