You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
