Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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