I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
