Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize