his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
