he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
