someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
