11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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