Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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