She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
