Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
