i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
be right there i have to get my cape
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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