Sry I called you an 8
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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