There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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