I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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